Guilty Pleasure (Rivamika Week 2019)
by AerNox
Summary: Favoured Tropes Day 1. Fake/pretend Couple Chapter: Uninvited Day 2. Hurt/Comfort Day 3 Friends to Lovers
1. Chapter 1

Rivamika Week 2019 Day 1:Fake/Pretend Couple Trope

"Sasha, where are you?" Mikasa barked into her phone, as she waited in the large foyer of the hotel. Patrons made their way in from outside, dusting off flecks of white snow from their jackets and scarfs.

"Urgh, we are like maybe half and hour away, maybe?" Mikasa didn't say anything, not buying it, with the uncertain tone of Sasha's voice over the phone.

"Thirty minutes?"

"Umm, maybe more like forty five? I'm so sorry Mikasa, the traffic here is crazy. I think there's been an accident or something. We would try and get out and walk, but I'm wearing heels."

Mikasa sighed.

"No, it's fine Sasha. I don't want you breaking your neck before you even get here."

"Oh Mikasa, you're always so understanding."

Mikasa could hear the relief in Sasha's voice, said she would see her soon and hung up. Checking the time, she made a mental note of when to expect Sasha and the rest of her co-workers. Nine o'clock. Putting her phone into the pocket of her long blue coat, she made her way through the large double doors to the long bar. Dotted along were several people that were seated on the stools, but she did not recognise any of them. As she waited for the barman to take her order, she surveyed the large room. Christmas decorations that exuded pure opulence where strategically placed, tinsel behind the bar, clusters of baubles hanging in each corner of the room, springs of holly, and a beautiful pine tree in the far corner of the room, which Mikasa suspected was real.

"What can I get for you, Miss?" The middle-aged barman asked.

"Pale ale, please"

Mikasa thought she detected a flicker of surprise on the barman's face, but being the professional that he was, he didn't make anything of it. As he pulled the light amber coloured drink into its pint glass, Mikasa took out her purse placing on the counter as she shrugged of her blue coat. Sitting on a nearby stool, laying her coat over her lap, she took out the money from her purse in anticipation of paying.

"Are you here for one of the Christmas parties?" the barman asked her.

"Yes, I'm with EHL Ltd. I've not worked with them long. I'm actually waiting for one of my colleagues but she's running late, and I don't really know anyone else that works for EHL."

"Oh, that's a shame, though I do think Christmas parties are always a great opportunity to let your hair down and meet new people. Might I add that it's not often that I see a woman drink pale ale."

"I must have good taste." Mikasa smirked

"Indeed, you do. The name is Merlin." The barman said extending his hand, which Mikasa accepted.

"I'm Mikasa. Though I have to say you have an unusual name." Mikasa commented, continuing the small talk.

"I could say the same for you."

Merlin brought over her drink, the condensation on the glass and the rising of the bubbles subconsciously made Mikasa lick her lips.

"How much do I owe you, Merlin?"

"Surely a gorgeous girl such as yourself doesn't pay for her own drinks now, does she?" A tall man with dark hair and a goatee approached her from the side.

"Who else is going to pay for them?" Mikasa said a little too sarcastically.

"Actually, the bill is being taken care off, by EHL ltd." Merlin interjected.

"Oh thank you, Merlin."

Mikasa turned to face the bar square on, trying to ignore the unwelcome man, and picked up her beer. Mikasa could feel his eyes watching her as she took a long sip of the cool liquid.

"Can I help you? Mikasa asked, not looking at the man still stood uninvited by her side.

"Did I hear that you work for EHL ltd, the security company?" The man was now causally leaning on the bar, completely unaware or ignoring the fact, that his attention was not wanted.

"So what if I do?" Mikasa said, looking down at the opposite end of the bar, hoping the annoying man would take the hint. There were only five other people. Two men at the far end, and a small group of two women and a man.

"Well, I happen to own a security company." The man said, putting a hand inside his blazer pocket and returning with a business card which he gave to Mikasa.

It read, "Nile Dok, CEO of Sina Security", his email address and mobile number followed.

"That must be nice for you Mr. Dok," Mikasa said handing back the card, but he waved his hands.

"Baby, that's for you to keep."

Mikasa couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes as she took another sip of her beer and wondered how she was going to get this guy to go away. An idea occurred to her, but she would need Merlin's help, he was currently handing the two guys at the end of the bar their drinks. The tall blonde man took the drinks, and handed one to his companion, the shorter man had black hair in an undercut style, who was currently looking in Mikasa's direction. From this distance she couldn't tell if he was looking at her or at Nile, who was still casually leaning against the bar facing her.

She raised her hand and smiled as Merlin approached her.

"Do you mind keeping this behind the bar and look after it until I get back from the loo?"

Without saying anymore, Mikasa knew that Merlin understood her intentions completely and took the drink for safe keeping. She grabbed her handbag and jacket when she felt a hand on her bare arm.

"Going already babe?"

"Before there is any room for misinterpretation, I am not interested ." Mikasa said as she yanked her arm out of his grip, and walked to the lavatory, holding her breath the whole way.

_See Mikasa, you _can _control your emotions. You don't need to get into any more trouble at work. The last place you want to embarrass yourself is at the work Christmas Party._

She checked the time on her phone, eight thirty. It would be at least another thirty minutes of torture before Sasha and the others got here. Mikasa checked her appearance in the expensive art nouveau style mirror. Now that she thought about it, the sparkly blue cocktail dress looked ridiculous on her, but Sasha had somehow convinced Mikasa to buy it. She flattened down her dark fly away hairs, and reapplied her bold red lipstick. Wishing that she knew someone else here at the party, she checked the time again, to find only two minutes had passed.

Deciding that she could not hide in the lavatory forever, she grabbed her coat and handbag and opened the door a crack to take a peek outside. She heard the small din of the band that had started to set up their instruments, and a few more people were at the bar now, but she could not see Nile. Wishfully thinking that he had left the party completely, Mikasa slowly closed the door behind her and made her way back to the to retrieve her drink and planned to hide a dark corner until Sasha got there.

Mikasa silently cursed under her breath that Merlin was busy serving other customers, but mercifully Nile Dok was still nowhere to be seen. Within the next five minutes, Mikasa thought she counted at least thirty people enter through the foyer into the bar. As more and more people took their seats, Mikasa thought her chances of getting her drink were fading to nothing, until Merlin finally saw her with her drink already in his hand.

Before she could even say thank you, Merlin was gone fulfilling another customers order. Taking another long sip of her beer she looked around trying to find a place to lay low, checking her watch again. Another 20 minutes left until Sasha got there.

"You know, you never told me your name,"

Mikasa knew who it was without even turning around.

"I don't give strange men my name." Mikasa said, her tone cold.

"Oh well that's not fair now is it? Not after I told you mine."

Nile Dok's words and tone of voice made Mikasa feel ill at ease.

"But I didn't ask you for it, did I?"

"That not very nice of you," Nile said playfully, "I know all you girls are teases and I don't like it when girls play hard to get, but you really don't have to with me." He eyed Mikasa's drink, "Are you trying to impress someone." Nile said, pointing to Mikasa's drink

"And who exactly are you suggesting that I am trying to impress?" Mikasa retorted, now losing her patience.

"A man of course."

"Why would a woman drinking beer, impress a man?"

"Because everyone knows that women can't hold their drink." Nile's tone was playful, but he as he finished speaking, he started downing what appeared to Mikasa to be a least three quarters of his pint of beer, gulping it down, almost inhaling it. As he drained the last dregs, he took a deep breath and set his glass down on the counter and let out a loud deep burp. One of the other customers at the bar turned around to see who made the disgusting sound.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Mikasa said spying him from the corner of her eye.

"Who wouldn't be?"

"Actually, I think very highly of temperance."

Mikasa's skin crawled, wishing that Sasha would just get there already, took another sip of her own drink.

"You must be the biggest hypocrite with that pint of beer in your hand." Nile's speech was so slurred she barely understood him.

"I said, temperance not abstinence. You might want to learn the difference." Her tone was final, and Mikasa did not intend to speak to him for the rest of the night.

Still sitting on the bar stool, Mikasa turned her back to him.

"I don't like being ignored either, darling," Nile whispered in her ear, and she felt a hand around her waist.

Mikasa's body whipped around, her hand already clenched around his hand that had clung to her waist. In a moment of hesitation Mikasa didn't know if she would punch him or crush his hand.

"My dear, there you are."

Both Mikasa and Nile turned to face the short black haired man Mikasa had seen at the end of the bar earlier in night. She couldn't help but notice that his undercut styled hair fit perfectly with his chiselled jaw line and thin straight mouth. The only imperfection if it could be called that, were his dark deep-set eyes, like he hadn't slept well the night before. His eyes. His eyes were staring at her.

"I've been waiting for you, dear. I didn't see you come in." he said to Mikasa. For a fleeting moment Mikasa wondered if she had ever met this man. She was sure she hadn't. His left eyebrow flickered slightly, too quick for intoxicated Nile to notice and Mikasa understood at once what he was trying to do.

Mikasa put on her best smile, "There you are, pudding!"

Cringing inside at having said such a silly pet name, she gave the black-haired man kiss on the cheek, and he to her, keeping up with the ruse.

"Nile, I'm sure you won't mind me taking my girl away." The stranger said.

"She's _your_ girl, Levi? You do aim high, don't you?" The animosity was not lost on Mikasa as she watched Nile look down at Levi, who happened to be someone of a shorter stature.

"Unlike you Nile, when I aim, I don't miss."

Without waiting for a reply, the man called Levi took Mikasa's hand as they headed for a table at the far side of the room. No one was sitting at the table.

"Thank you so much. He was being very annoying." Mikasa said, her arm still linked with the stranger at her side.

The man nodded, "I had been watching for a while, unsure whether I needed to step in."

"What made you cave in?" Mikasa said, hoping her voice wasn't too curious.

"When he put his arm around you. I wasn't worried about you so much, but him. It looked like you were going to squeeze the very life out of his hand," The man said, unlinking his arm from hers and pulling out a chair for her to sit on. "He's still watching…" Levi whispered.

Mikasa sat down, trying to peek at the bar to see if this was true, but was unable to see him from where she was sitting. The man sat down in the next chair, his drink a short brown substance in a lowball glass with ice.

"What do I call my knight in shining armour?" Mikasa asked, taking a sip of beer that was nearly finished.

"Pudding," Levi said, as Mikasa snorted mid-gulp nearly spraying him with beer, "Or Levi, if you prefer."

Mikasa recovered herself, taking a napkin and wiping the side of her mouth, she couldn't help but grin to herself.

"I knew that would come back to haunt me. Such a stupid thing to say."

Mikasa looked at Levi, a slight curl at the corner of his lips, and his dark eyes watching her.

"You can call me Mikasa, I work for EHL ltd. I was actually waiting for my friend before… all that." Mikasa said, her hand motioning for to the bar, supposedly were Nile Dok was still waiting.

Mikasa thought she detected a flicker of something in Levi's eyes, he nodded his head.

"My own friends have gone for a smoke or something, disgusting habit…"

They both sat there silently, awkwardly looking everywhere at everything in the room except each other. Mikasa watched the door, desperately hoping for Sasha to walk through. She checked the time, still another twenty-five minutes to go. Mikasa scanned the bar, her dark eyes looking for Nile Dok. Levi was right, he was still at the bar trying to order another beer.

"So, you and Nile Dok know each other?" Mikasa was desperate to fill the void of silence.

"In a way. I suppose you could say that we are business competitors."

As Mikasa nodded, the band in the far corner began playing starting off with _It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas._

"Tch, I forgot this was supposed to be a Christmas party."

"Hmm." Mikasa wasn't really listening to him, her attention was still on the door. The longer she looked, the more she willed that Sasha would come through those doors flaunting in with the floor length dress she had bought. Something caught her eye, it was Nile Dok, and he was heading for their table.

"Tch. Where the hell did Erwin go?" Levi said to no one in particular as he saw Nile approach their table. Immediately Levi stood up, draining the last of his whiskey he set down his glass and held out his hand to Mikasa. Taking his cue, Mikasa gulped down the rest of her beer and took his hand as he led her to the small dancefloor in front of the band where people had already started to congregate.

"I did promise to take you dancing tonight, darling." Levi said loudly to Mikasa as they passed Nile.

The final notes of the previous song faded and there was a small applause of the audience that had gathered at this corner of the room. As the first notes of the next song started playing there was an instant buzz of familiarity that got people tapping their toes. The Christmas drinks were finally starting to settle in, feeling the liquid courage rid them of their trepidation, many started dancing.

"Rocking around the Christmas tree…", the singer hadn't finished her first line before the people on the dancefloor had doubled. In and instant Levi had spun Mikasa in a graceful twist and suddenly they were dancing. Mikasa's head spun unsure if it was from the spin or from the beer she had consumed in such a short space of time. She could feel her inhibitions slipping away, and she wanted to have a little bit of fun. After all, it was Christmas.

It was obvious that Levi knew how to dance, there was a confidence that he held that could not be taught. Mikasa wanted to give him a run for his money, she wanted to see if he knew how to jive. Without missing a step, Levi was with her but with a hint of a smile on his face. Taken a little by surprise that Levi was keeping up, she prayed that her feet knew what to do now that she had started what could not be stopped.

Mikasa could hear the trumpet's solo and was aware that there were other people dancing all around her, but she couldn't stop staring at the man in front of her. His dark eyes ever watching her own. Every time she spun, losing eye contact for a split second and then meeting his eyes again, she felt a shiver go up her spine. Yet she felt no fear. For every time that she spun, those few moments where her body was vulnerable, Mikasa knew that he was always going to catch her. In the background Mikasa could hear the song coming to and end when Levi gave her a last spin and pulled her close, her back against his chest.

The last note of the song rang out and there was a raucous applause from the dancers, and those watching in the audience. Mikasa breathing was heavy, only now realising that how much energy she had spent.

"I'm imp-", Mikasa was cut short but Sasha's voice calling her name.

"Mikasa," Sasha stepped forward from the crowd that had been watching the dancing. Mikasa thought she had a strange expression on her face but couldn't quite recognise what it meant. Levi's arms uncoiled and let Mikasa go, his hand sliding down her arm until his hand held hers.

"That must be your friend." Levi said.

Mikasa heard someone call Levi's name from the crowd but couldn't see them, but their voice sounded familiar. "I'll have a whiskey" Levi called back to them.

"Sasha I'll meet you at the bar, I'm just going to grab my bag and jacket."

Sasha nodded in recognition, as Levi and Mikasa walked with arms linked back to his table.

"Thank you for everything, Levi." Her words were sincere as she reluctantly took her hand away from his. She picked up her pale blue jacket and her bag.

"That's quite alright, anytime."

Mikasa held her belongings in her hands, unsure of whether she should say what she really wanted to. Her was an attractive man, polite, courteous, and he could dance. She had never met someone like him before, with that strange look in his eyes.

"Is there…is there any chance I could get your number?" Mikasa asked, rushing to get her words out.

Levi's eyes narrowed slightly, as he pulled a card and an expensive looking fountain pen, out from the inside of his jacket pocket. Mikasa watched as in a flourish the numbers were written down. He held the card for a moment, letting the ink dry and handed the card to Mikasa.

"Will you be staying at the party for a while?" He asked her, as he watched her put the card in her bag without even looking at it.

"Yes, my friend just got here. We were planning on staying until the end."

"Would you save the last dance for me?"

Taken a little aback, Mikasa said that she would and said goodbye. As she walked over to Sasha she passed a tall blonde man and a woman with long brown hair and glasses, who approached Levi and handed him his drink. Something about the women struck her as familiar, but she couldn't place how.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Sasha. I'm so glad that you're here. You will never believe what happened!" Mikasa said, taking the mulled wine that Sasha had ordered for her.

"I'm certainly surprised at you, Mikasa." Sasha said, about to laugh.

"What makes you say that?" Mikasa asked, only now noticing that quite a few people were looking at her, and one of them even pointed at her.

"Do you know who you were just dancing with?" Sasha asked, in a hushed whisper.

"He said his name was Levi." Mikasa said, taking a sip of his wine.

Sasha nodded, "Yes. His name is Levi. _Levi Ackerman_. One of the three founding members of EHL ltd. He's our boss."

Mikasa stood there, incredulous at what Sasha was telling her. She had danced with her boss. Flirted with him.

_Oh my god, I asked for his number._

Mikasa slumped herself on the nearest stool, wishing that the ground would open and swallow her whole. She closed her eyes, still not believing what she had done.

"Sasha, you have no idea how much of an idiot I have made myself look. I didn't know he was our boss. I've never seen him before. And am I imagining things, or are people starting at me?"

"He's been in France for the last couple of weeks, before you even started. You know they are trying to expand the company over there." Sasha giggled, "Did I see him hand you his card?"

Mikasa opened her bag, she hadn't even looked at it when he handed it to her. There it was in black and white, "Levi Ackerman, Co-Founder of EHL Security Ltd" his office number and email followed. On the back and written in deep blue ink was what Mikasa assumed was his personal mobile number.

"I don't believe it! You have to tell me everything!"

Mikasa told her from the beginning when she was in the foyer, to Nile Dok pestering her and Levi coming to her rescue. When she got the part where they had pretended to be a couple to make Nile leave her alone, Sasha burst into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, well when I saw you guys dancing you both seemed…very into each other. He obviously likes you. He has a reputation of being quite aloof and standoffish." Sasha was grinning from ear to ear.

"Merlin, please to two shots tequila!"

Mikasa intended to avoid Levi at all costs for the rest of the night, now that she knew who he was and how much she had embarrassed herself. Sasha made her recount the story several times, each time roaring with laughter after every retelling.

"It's not my fault, I didn't know anyone else here!"

"That's true," Sasha said, peering down at the other end of the bar, "Is that the creepy guy you were talking about?"

Mikasa followed Sasha's line of sight until she finally saw Nile Dok. Unfortunately, he was now also looking at her. Mikasa spun her head around, regretting that she had ever came to this stupid party.

"Mikasa, he's coming over this way."

"Shit! Sasha you know I nearly broke his hand the last time he spoke to me. I can't get fired from this job because of him." Mikasa pleaded with Sasha, she was already in trouble at work, for supposedly using excessive force on the job. "You know what, I'm just going to leave. Don't hate me Sasha, you have other friends you can hang out here with."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to leave just because of some creepy guy."

"I think it's best for everyone that I go." Mikasa said, already putting on her coat and bag.

"I'll distract Nile so you can make your getaway."

"Thanks Sasha, I owe you one."

They quickly hugged, and Mikasa couldn't help but notice a sad but understanding look on Sasha's face that upset Mikasa. She didn't want to have to leave, but it was the safest option for everyone.

Walking as quickly as her heels would allow, Mikasa quickly glanced back and saw Sasha _accidentally_ spill her drink all over Nile Dok. She had nearly reached the doors to the foyer when she heard her name being called.

She stopped in her tracks and saw Levi trying to catch up to her. He had taken of his black blazer revealing a set of black braces and his white cravat was still in place.

"I take it I won't be getting that last dance." Levi stated, already knowing the answer.

"Shit, I'm sorry. But I must leave, I don't want to deal with him anymore." Mikasa said, motioning to the bar where Nile Dok was trying to mop himself up.

Levi nodded.

"By the way, what I did was totally inappropriate. I didn't know who you were when…" Mikasa mumbled.

"When you asked for my number?" Levi said coolly, "If it helps, I knew who you were, and I wouldn't have given you my number if I didn't want to."

Mikasa was confused and shook her head.

"How could you have known who I was? I've never seen you before?"

"Well, Hange had mentioned that she had interviewed you in passing. But when you got in trouble during you first week working for us, all three of us, Erwin, Hange and myself were notified –"

"That was a complete misunderstanding, I was only try-"

"I read the report about what happened, and I personally agreed with your actions during that _altercation_. It was me that recommended that you only get a warning. But still…I had to meet the woman who threw down and broke several ribs of a man weighing eighteen stone," Mikasa turned his words around her mind, trying to piece it all together, "You have my number. The ball is in your court, so to speak."

Mikasa nodded unsure what to say for herself.

"I'll walk you over to your taxi."

The two of them passed through into the foyer and out the front of the hotel entrance, waiting in the shelter of the alcove away from the snow as they waited for sight of a taxi. Five or so minutes had passed without a single taxi passing by, the chill of the night air sinking into her bones.

"Levi, go inside you must be freezing. I'll be fine waiting by myself."

"With the likes of Nile Dok prowling around…I don't think so. Besides I'm not cold."

Mikasa watched as his eyes looked up to the sky following the powdery snow fall, until she spotted the mistletoe. It was hanging directly above them. Mikasa looked back at Levi to see if he had noticed her watching him. He looked at Mikasa, her hair already crowned in the soft flecks of snow. Without saying a word, their bodies were slowly drawn together like magnets, his lips gently meeting hers. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the firm muscles under his shirt that lined his back.

The beep of the taxi broke them apart, and Mikasa strode over without looking back or saying goodbye. As the taxi took off just before it rounded the corner, Mikasa turned back and watched Levi run his hand through his hair and turn back into the entrance of the hotel as the snow continued to fall.


	2. Chapter 2 - Under The Rubble

Rivamika Week 2019 -Day 2 - Hurt/comfort

Under The Rubble

Mikasa rubbed the soap on her bloody hands, the suds running down her arms and let the cold water wash it all away. After drying them, she inspected her hands which had dry red patches, and cracks. Taking a pot from a nearby shelf, she rubbed the beeswax into her skin, momentarily soothing it. She sat down on an old wooden chair by the window for the first time since had started working that night, waiting for Jean to arrive and take over from her. She moved the curtain slightly, but it was still pitch-black outside, even though Mikasa reckoned it must have been eight in the morning by now. The rain that had started to fall three days ago, when the battle had finished, continued to fall.

The door to the infirmary opened slowly as Jean entered the room, he walked as though his limbs were heavy, and his eyes were tired and bloodshot. Mikasa felt how he looked and felt pity that he had to work the next shift. Mikasa rose from her chair and took her notes that she would be passing over to Jean.

"Rough night?" Jean asked, his voice hoarse.

"You could say that. I had three new admissions." Mikasa said, her voice low as they approached the first bed which had privacy screens around it. "The first was dead on arrival, nothing I could do for him despite me trying. I gave him the last offices; he just needs to be removed whenever it is convenient for you and your helper today. He was with the Garrison Regiment. I've written his next of kin details here. They have yet to be informed."

Jean nodded, as Mikasa passed her notes to him as they moved on to the next patient.

"Another member of the Garrison Regiment came in with a suspected fracture of the tibia, I've elevated it and splinted it. Have the doctor take a look at it. I've given him pain relief. He's fine." Mikasa said, already moving on to the next bed, which also had privacy screens around it.

"A civilian, brought in a couple hours ago. Was impaled by a metal beam through the abdomen, a good Samaritan not knowing any better, removed it. I couldn't stop the bleeding but made him comfortable. Last offices are done. The family are aware."

"So just a little busy then…" Jean mumbled to himself, the enormity of the day that faced him now apparent. "What about the others?"

"No problems overnight with me." Mikasa said, handing him the rest of the notes, "Oh Jean, make sure we get more morphine. I had to use quite a lot last night, so we don't have much left."

Jean scribbled on his noted and said he would make sure it was in by the night shift.

"Are you sure you want to come back tonight?"

"You know I'll be here every night. Until things change." Mikasa said, longing for the soft linen of her bed sheets.

"Mikasa, you'll burn yourself out if you keep this up." Jean said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Jean. I always am." Mikasa said, hoping that her words sounded convincing.

Mikasa jolted upright in her bed, her dagger held firmly in her hand, unsure of what had woken her from her deep but disturbed sleep. Dazed and disorientated she stumbled out of her bed and checked the window, with only darkness outside she couldn't tell if it was day or night. There was a loud rapping knock at the door.

"Mikasa. This is your wake-up call." A voice from behind the door called.

Coming to her senses, Mikasa lowered her dagger and called back that she was up and awake now. Running a comb through her hair and getting dressed she dreaded going back in for her shift. Day after day it was the same thing, injured soldiers, injured civilians, men, women and children. It didn't stop. There weren't enough doctors and nurses to help after the last battle of Paradis which had ended only three days ago. Most of Mikasa's friends were gone, lost in the battle or in the ensuing chaos when the walls made of titans collapsed. Eren, Armin, and Connie were gone. Nearly everyone else she knew was MIA, except for Jean who had been her rock since everything happened. But somehow Mikasa had survived, and she had no idea what do now that it was all over. She would work. Until she knew what she should do.

She walked down the hall, dreading to see what awaited her in the infirmary of the barracks. She looked in on the room to the left, where those that were least sick or injured were, of which there were currently twenty. All was quiet and some of them were already sleeping, the others whispered to each other hoping from news from the outside. She opened the door to the left, which contained the most acutely sick and injured patients, were Jean was waiting for her. He held a cup of tea which he immediately handed to Mikasa.

"Morning…you going to need this." Jean said, the morose tone of his voice not lost on her.

Jean ran through the list of new admissions, one male with broken ribs, one female with an above knee amputation, one male with severe foot rot on his left foot. When Mikasa threw Jean a puzzled look, Jean reminded her that the rescue efforts to remove the people still in the rubble was still on going, and that the persistent cold and wet weather wouldn't have helped the working conditions. The last was a young man who lay quietly in his bed but was wrapped in so many bandages that Mikasa was a little taken aback. Most of his face was covered in bloody bandages, leaving only tufts of his black hair and his mouth visible.

"Unidentified male, who we are calling John Doe. He was found under the rubble and debris when Eren brought the walls down. The doctor reckons he has multiple internal injuries and doesn't expect him to last the night."

Mikasa nodded and sipped her tea, already making mental notes of what she planned to do for the night and tied her apron around her waist.

"Did we get that morphine that we needed?"

"No, apparently there's a shortage everywhere for it." Jean said, knowing the gravity of what that meant.

Mikasa sighed, and waved Jean to go to bed insisting that she would deal with it.

She checked each patient one by one, recorded their vital signs, doing it exactly how she remembered Dr. Jaeger doing it. She often thought about her trips with him, running to get extra supplies when visiting a patient at home, watching him check pulses, change bandages or anything else that might have needed doing. The only patients that concerned her were the four in the acute bay, but according to their observations they were doing fine for now. Pinning her fringe out of her face, she opened the medicine cupboard and checked the stock. Only two smalls vials of morphine left.

_I'll have to rations this very carefully. If I'm lucky, this might be enough for tonight._

At most, she would have 4 doses. She sat down at the only table in the room, which was beside the window, pulling the curtain closed after looking outside. The rain continued to pour in a gentle but constant drizzle with the rhythmic pitter patter against the windowpane. She took a large sip of tea as she started writing the first of her patients notes. She looked at the large stack of papers and wondered how long her and Jean would be able to do this day in day out. He worked with civilian volunteers worked during the day when the doctor was here, and she took care of the night. She had the lives of twenty-three patients in her hands, and she felt like she had no idea what she was doing. If there was an emergency at night, there was no doctor to call, leaving Mikasa to try and keep them alive until the morning. But there was no one else to call upon. All that remained of the Survey Corp was Jean and herself, everyone else either dead or missing.

With her paperwork finished, Mikasa struck a match and lit a candle so she could make her hourly rounds. The man with foot was complained of pain, he said the dose of morphine that Jean had given him earlier in the day was wearing off. Mikasa inspected his foot, the sole was an unnaturally pale colour and long deep cracks ran from the top to the bottom. There was not much Mikasa could do except keep his feet dry and give him some morphine. She gave him one dose and moved him into the larger bay for those who weren't seriously sick.

_Only three doses of morphine left._

Mikasa wanted to give the young dying man as much privacy as possible and would try to move as many as she could out of his bay. She went back, thought that she could hear him moaning in pain and gave him some morphine. She watched as his rate of breathing had slowed somewhat. She knew this was all part of the process, but it didn't get any easier. She was documenting what she had given him when she heard a loud bang from the corridor outside.

"HELP! Is anyone here?!"

Mikasa recognised the voice immediately and bolted for the door that lead to the corridor. The door slammed back as she yanked at the doorknob and saw Hange slumped on the floor soaking wet.

"Hange your alive! Are you hurt?" Mikasa couldn't believe that Hange was here, wanting to say so much but not knowing where to start.

"I'm fine, Mikasa. Help him." Hange said, pointing to the body slumped in her arms, whose face was covered by the rain-soaked cloak. Mikasa pulled back the hood to reveal the face of a mangled man, a long deep gash from his right forehead across his eye and down to his chin. There was smaller puncture like wounds that spattered across his face, which would have shocked Mikasa, until she saw his fingers. Or what remained of them, as several of them were missing.

Immediately lifting Levi's limp body, Mikasa brought him to the bed she had just put fresh linen on and got to work. She checked his vital signs, stripped him down completely of all clothes to find any wounds and assess how bad they were. She squeezed firmly at the muscle between his neck and shoulder firmly, but he didn't wince. He was completely unconscious. She cleaned his wounds with salty water, debriding any debris that was left, not wanting him to get a fever, packed them with gauze and bandaged as best that she could.

"Mikasa…", Hange called, "I need to sleep. I'll explain later. You'll look after him won't you?"

"Hange! What happened to him?"

"Zeke…there was a massive explosion. Shrapnel everywhere. I found him."

Mikasa understood at once.

"Levi is lucky to be alive, Mikasa…I just hope it stays that way." Hange said as she laid down on the floor and fell asleep without a pillow or even a blanket.

Levi let out a moan, his face grimacing in agony. Mikasa watched the rise and fall of Levi's chest, noticing that his rate of breathing had increased, and his chest wasn't rising symmetrically. Her work was not done yet, she realised. She took a closer look at the bony prominence of his windpipe and realised that it was not straight like it should be, but it had deviated to one side. Alarm bells in Mikasa's head clanged, banged and crashed. She had seen this before, on one of her visits with Eren's dad.

Immediately she grabbed a needle, feeling for the soft spaces between each rib on Levi's chest.

_How far down am I meant to go? Shit! I can't remember! I could kill him if I don't get this right…._

But she also knew the consequence of not doing anything. She counted four spaces and hoped for the best as she firmly pressed the needle into his skin and between the intercostal spaces. There was an immediate whoosh of air, and Mikasa knew that she was right. She silently watched him breathing for a while, his toned chest rising and falling over and over again. She had always thought that he had looked so strong, invincible almost. But seeing Levi here, now… she thought she had never seen anyone look so fragile and weak. She gave him a dose of morphine for his pain.

_One dose left._

When Mikasa deemed him to be more stable she washed him down with soapy water, making sure to keep the bandages dry, dried him off and tied an infirmary gown onto him. Smelling the fresh linen, she covered him with a blanket and propped a pillow behind his head.

She woke Hange after a while who finally found the strength to go to a proper bed after she inquired about Levi. Mikasa wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't out of the woods yet. In fact, he was still very much in the thick of them.

_If I can just keep him alive until he morning…_

Feeling as though she had neglected her other patients, she let her candle once more and did her check on each of them. With her check done she suddenly had a fear that when she went back to check on Levi that he wouldn't be breathing. When she got there nothing had changed.

She had just begun her paperwork on Levi when he started moaning again. Instinctively, Mikasa walked up to the medicine cupboard only to find that there was a single dose of morphine left. She felt torn, not knowing whether to give it to him, or save it just in case. Levi quietened down, and she waited, continuing her paperwork. Suddenly John Doe gave a long drawn of moan that frightened Mikasa so much she knocked her bundle of papers on the floor scattered to every corner of the room. It was like a back and forth, both men's faces grimacing in pain, muscles contorting, veins bulging.

But it wasn't until Levi cried out for his mother that Mikasa broke down. It was too much, too much for one person to bare. The hot tears fell as she collapsed in a heap on the floor, her breath gasping trying to breath between her sobs. How could she pick one over the other? One a dying stranger who she wanted to make comfortable, or her captain who could potentially live but who would be in excruciating pain.

Mikasa slapped her face hard, leaving her face red and her palm stinging. Willing to pull herself together, she stood up and drew the last dose of morphine into the syringe. She looked at Levi, most of his face covered in bandages, but she could still hear him moaning loudly. Mikasa knew what had to be done.

Mikasa firmly pressed down on the plunger of the syringe, the clear liquid of the morphine entering the muscle of John Joe's arm. A few minutes later, John Doe grew quiet and a peaceful expression settled on his face. He died an hour later. Mikasa could hear Levi groaning while she preformed the last offices on John Doe, trying to hold back the tears. When she was done, she brought her chair and sat besides Levi's bed. She took his hand with fingers missing, inspecting the bandages she had dressed it in. She held his hand and asked him to forgive her. Forgive her for giving John Doe the morphine, for not being able to save him, for not being there to help him against Zeke.

"I always thought that we would have more time…", Mikasa said, losing herself in her reverie. "After all these years that I've known you, I should have told you…" Mikasa had started but she couldn't continue., unable to imagine a world where Levi was not in it. He was humanity's greatest soldier, their greatest hope. The future of Paradis was uncertain, and it would need Levi.

"Don't die, Levi." Mikasa pleaded, squeezing softly, "Please live."

She stayed like that with him, his hand in hers until Jean got there for his morning shift. Mikasa did her best to explain to him what had happened that night, with Levi there in the bed, and Hange asleep somewhere in the barracks. She asked Jean to get his helper to wake her at her usual time and went to her quarters to sleep. Falling into her bed she fell asleep instantly.

She woke up, her limbs still stiff and heavy her eyes blinking over and over but only finding darkness.

_What time is it? Why didn't anyone wake me? I must be late for my shift._

Throwing on her clothes she made her way to the infirmary hoping Jean was managing okay, when she was greeted by an unfamiliar face.

"Jean told me to tell you to take the night off, Miss. I'm one of the volunteers. I'm doing the night shift tonight." The young man said when he saw Mikasa's confused expression.

"What time is it?"

"A little after midnight, Miss."

"Is Levi…?"

"He's still alive. The doctor saw him while he was here, suspected that he had a pneumothorax with you last night. He said that the trick with the needle worked like a charm. You saved his life."

Mikasa nodded, the doctor's diagnosis only confirmed her suspicions.

She opened the door into the high bay and saw Levi lying comfortably in bed, still unconscious.

"I'll give you some time with him. I have to check on the others anyway." The young volunteer said, closing the door.

Mikasa inspected Levi's bandages, made sure that he was being looked after properly, and was satisfied with their work. She took his mangled hand in hers and softly whispered to him repeatedly not to die. That she would look after him. She brushed the stubborn black hair of his out of his face. He would have terrible scars on his face for the rest of his life, she noted to herself. But that would not stop her from telling him how she felt if he ever woke up. How she had felt for years. Her mind started to wonder, thinking about the future and what she would do. Her hand still held his, willing him to live, still her whispers commanded Levi that he was not allowed to die, when she felt his hand squeeze hers.

Author's Note: So sorry this whole thing is a mess. I went off in a tangent. There was no real plot or anything. But I needed to write this. It was therapy for me.


	3. Chapter 3 - Coffee

Day 3 - Friends to Lovers

Mikasa wasn't sure when things had begun to change. First it was an invitation to spar with him, which she did not think much of at first, as no one else could really challenge Levi when it came to combat. Next was an invitation to have tea with him, which _did_ surprise Mikasa but she was glad for the company, and so she agreed. Then it was an invitation to visit Trost with him, Erwin and Hange. When Mikasa had mentioned this to Eren and Armin, she was surprised to find that they had completely opposite ideas about what it meant. Armin alluded that it meant Levi had some personal interest in Mikasa. Eren vehemently denied this, explaining that Mikasa was being groomed for the purpose of going into some form of leadership of the Survey Corp.

She mused at the idea around in her mind about Levi's intentions. There was no way he was romantically interested in her, she decided. She looked at her calloused hands, abused by hours and hours of combat practice. In comparison to Historia with her thick blonde hair and big blue eyes, it seemed to Mikasa that her dark features didn't stand out or could be considered desirable.

_Besides, I'm not really considered feminine._

Mikasa had decided that someone like Levi, who exuded primal masculinity would want his opposite, a pure, graceful, feminine woman. Maybe that woman would be outgoing, be able to sing, dance and able to cook and know how to garden. Apart from gardening, Mikasa felt she did not tick the other boxes. The idea of Levi even being remotely interest in her was just not possible in this world. They simply shared a mutual fondness for each other's company. That was all.

Until one winter evening at the end of their sparring session, which had now become a weekly occurrence. There was a small clearing near the Survey Corps Headquarters, just beside the orchard that Levi had chosen for their sessions. Mikasa knelt down, unravelled her hand wraps, her face flushed, and hair tied up, when she felt like see was being watched. She took out her water canteen from her bag and took a long sip whilst she risked a glance at Levi. She knew that he had been watching her, staring, but something was different. He kept staring. Had a strange look in his eye. Unable to maintain eye contact any longer, Mikasa put her canteen back into her bag, and slung it over her shoulder. They walked in silence to back headquarters, just like they usually did.

The pair's footsteps echoed as they walked down the long corridor that led to the living quarters, where Levi would usually escort Mikasa to the female's corridor first before bidding farewell. But not this time.

"This way," Levi said, motioning to a different corridor.

Mikasa followed obediently, not sure if it was out of curiosity or because of something else. She recognised this corridor; it belonged to the living quarters of the Officers. Levi abruptly stopped at a plain wooden door, almost indistinguishable from all the other doors in corridor. He turned his whole body around to face Mikasa and looked at her a moment before speaking.

"Would you like to come in for some coffee?", Levi asked, his tone cool and even.

"I don't drink coffee, Captain." Mikasa replied, unsure if he did either.

Mikasa could see his lips part slightly, almost as if he was unsure whether he should say the next words to come pouring from his mouth.

"I haven't got any."


	4. Chapter 4 - Fragments

Day 4 – Arranged Marriage

Early in the morning, the postings of the royal decree were nailed to the notice boards all around the barracks. The commotion of soldier's shouting and causing a general ruckus, did not surprise Levi one bit. There had been rumors that this might happen after all. Armin had heard about them when he had been visiting the interior, but Historia herself had said nothing of it to Armin, or so he told Levi.

_Arranged matrimonial relations_. These were emergency actions that would require thirty percent of the current adult population of good health, to marry and procreate. With reports of the birth rates falling, and with mortality rates for young adults at an all-time high, there was pressure for the population inside the walls to sire children for several purposes. The first was to ensure that humanity inside the walls continued to survive in order to produce a sustainable workforce of farmers and other essential workers. The other was to ensure that there were enough soldiers to bolster the ranks to seem a plausible threat to the enemies of Paradis.

Soldiers were huddled around in groups, the men conversing quietly with each other but unable to hide the anxious looks on their face. Some of the women openly sobbed, with no amount of consoling able to help. It seemed that during the first round of these announcements, a higher percentage of those in the military had been chosen and partnered off. Deciding to get it over and done with, Levi approached the notice board that displayed the names of the couples chosen, not really expecting to be selected, he searched for his own name. Seeing his name printed in black ink, Levi's dark eyes followed the name his own was paired with, when he felt a sharp jolt in his chest, then a sinking feeling that he couldn't shake off. He wondered if she knew yet, and what would she think of being paired up with him.

Levi immediately turned on his heel and headed back to his office, the noise of the crowds in the hallway only growing louder and louder. He shut the door to his office behind him, and stood there a moment, trying to comprehend his own feelings on the matter. He was not disappointed for himself he realised. He was disappointed for her. She was still young and in the prime of her life, whilst he, although not _old, _was not exactly a spring chicken anymore. The pair of them had always gotten on tolerably well, but they were not overtly friendly with each other. Levi knew that she would not be happy being paired with him. A faint whistle came from the fireplace, and he knew that the kettle had finished boiling.

_Tea. Tea always helps._

After taking a sip, and already sat at his desk, Levi set down the teacup onto the saucer with a clink. How was he going to face her, knowing that she would resent him for the rest of her life.

_Besides, isn't it common knowledge that she's been pining for Eren all of these years? They're god damn childhood sweethearts._

He let out sigh and swirled his teaspoon in his cup, watching the hot water spin when he heard a knock at the door.

"Not now, Hange!" Levi barked, knowing that she always had the worst timing.

The door to Levi's office opened a crack as Mikasa put one foot in door.

"It's not Hange…" Mikasa's said tentatively, "You've seen the announcement already, I take it?"

Taken aback by her sudden appearance and unable to find time to thoroughly examine his thoughts, he didn't reply immediately.

"I'll come back later." Mikasa said closing the door behind her with the faint click as the door shut completely.

Bolting up from his chair he raced to the door, throwing it open to find Mikasa right in front him, she hadn't moved from her spot. Several soldiers in the corridors looked on at them, wondering what was going to happen, already knowing that they had been paired up with each other.

"Please. Come in, Mikasa." Levi said as he held the door open.

She took a seat in the chair opposite his at his desk, fiddling at a thread of Survey Corps uniform. Shutting the door and walking to his chair, he wondered where he would begin.

"In response to your question, yes. I have seen the announcement…," Levi said, finally sitting down and taking a sip of his tea that was still hot.

Mikasa's head was bowed, which left Levi unable to see her facial expression, but she nodded quickly.

"As soon as I saw it, I went to see Historia." Mikasa started, "I thought there had to be some mistake. But did you know what she said to me?"

Mikasa raised her hair, her black hair falling either side of her face. Levi shook his head, waiting for her answer.

"She said that we all have to make sacrifices. Just like she did." Mikasa's voice was strong and even.

Levi said nothing in response, but watched Mikasa, waiting to see what she really thought of these arrangements.

"Did you know that she's pregnant? Historia." Mikasa asked him.

Levi shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "There had been a rumor."

"Do you know who the father of her child is?" Still, Mikasa's tone was aloof, as if she was asking what the weather was like outside.

Levi's eyes narrowed, watching Mikasa as she stared at him.

"Again, I heard a rumor." Levi said, his voice low.

But they both knew who the father was, they just couldn't say.

"Mikasa, what do you want to do about this whole thing?" Levi asked her

"I didn't think we really had a choice. It being a royal decree and all." the sarcasm was not lost on Levi.

"I'm serious." Levi said, this time he thought her expression meant that she realised this.

"I heard people talking about running away. So that they wouldn't have to get married." Mikasa said, turning her gaze away from him. "Stupid idea. They would be found eventually."

Levi said nothing, wanting her to continue. Mikasa fidgeted nervously in her chair, unable to look at him in the eye. There was another knock on the door.

"Not now, Hange!" Levi barked again.

There was coughing from behind the door and a voice called out that Commander Hange wanted to see Levi in her office.

"Tch," Levi rose from his chair, putting his jacket on and straightening his already perfectly straight cravat. "We'll speak later Mikasa."

Without a word she rose and reached the door before Levi and proceeded down the corridor in the opposite direction that Levi needed to go in. Levi entered Erwin's old office to find Hange sitting behind the desk. Even after all these years, Levi still thought of this as Erwin's office. Armin was standing by the window and raised his hand in greeting to Levi.

"Shit has really hit the fan." Levi said as he shut the door and stood behind the chair opposite Hange.

"Well, we were half expecting this, Levi." Hange said, motioning for his to sit down which Levi did.

Levi crossed his arms.

"The situation isn't ideal for anyone." Armin said as he leaned against the wall.

"Who did you guys get partnered with?" Levi asked.

For a moment Hange and Armin looked at each other before they both replied, in sync.

"Each other."

"Oh,"

It was the only thing Levi could think to say. There was silence for several moments before Hange shuffled some papers and stowed them away in a draw in her desk.

"Armin and I have come to an arrangement." Hange said, seemingly distracted by more paperwork at her desk as she spoke.

"We will get married, as the royal decree demands, but we will live together as… friends." Armin said, his tone was very matter of fact.

Levi already saw a flaw in their plan.

"In case you haven't read the fine print… you are obligated to produce offspring. It is a requirement. If after a year and a half of marriage there are no children, they will annul the marriage and you will be assigned a new partner to marry." Levi's own voice emulated nothing but monotone factualness.

Armin turned his attention back to the window, averting his gaze from both Levi and Hange.

Clearing her throat Hange began, "We will perform our matrimonial duties as required until we produce a child."

Levi hoped his disappointment didn't show on his face. He had hoped that the smartest people he knew, Hange and Armin, would have figured out a way around this mess, a solution that Levi could have used himself. But this solution would be of no use to him.

Levi tossed again for what seemed like the hundredth time that night in bed. A persistent gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach plagued him that he just could not shift. After his meeting with Hange and Armin, Levi had sent a scout to ask Mikasa to return to his office. An hour later the scout returned without Mikasa, reporting they had searched everywhere for her but to no avail. When the scout asked if he wanted to report Mikasa's desertion to Hange, Levi clipped him around the ear and the scout said no more about it.

Swinging his legs out of bed, Levi got up poured water into his kettle, repeating the mantra to himself that tea always made things better. Waiting for it to boil he went over to the wash basin and threw water onto his face. He watched in the mirror as the drips of water rolled down his weathered skin, the fine lines developing around the corners of his eyes, mouth and forehead. Dark circles had settled themselves underneath his tired eyes.

_I look like shit._

As he watched his reflection it seemed obvious to him why Mikasa would want to leave. He was an older man, who would steal away the best years of a young woman's life. He was still pondering when he noticed something moving in the reflection of his mirror. He continued to watch as Mikasa opened the window to his room and climbed in.

"I need to talk to you, Captain." Mikasa said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why didn't you use the door like a normal person?" Levi quipped.

"Neither of us are exactly normal." Mikasa's words hanged in the air until she continued, "It's after curfew."

"I thought that would be the least of you worries right now."

Levi watched as her throat moved slowly as if she was gulped.

"I have decided to marry you. If you want me, that is." Mikasa's word were slow, as if she were feeling how they felt to leave her lips.

Levi's eyes narrowed.

"No." Levi said, moving to take the kettle of the fire. Only when he had finished pouring the water into the two cups did he chance a glance at her.

Mikasa was stood stock still, her eyes were as wide as saucers Levi thought to himself.

"What do you mean _no_?" Mikasa asked, choking on her words.

Levi picked up the two cups and handed one to Mikasa.

"I don't intend to marry anyone under coercion. Royal decree be damned." Levi sat on the windowsill, casually looking out to the empty dark horizon, marbled by the stars above.

"But-"

"But what!? I will not force a young woman in the prime of her life to be burdened for the rest of her life to an older man…let alone a woman who loves someone else." Levi sipped his tea before adding, "That is the end of the matter, Mikasa."

"No."

"No wha-"

"This is not the end of the matter, because you will hear me out. Is that clear, Captain?" Levi could feel the fierceness in her voice.

"You have my attention, Ackerman."

"If I understand correctly, you refuse to marry me because you believe that it is due to me being coerced by the royal decree, do you not?"

Levi nodded, as Mikasa took a sip of the tea.

"Then I wonder what your answer would be if I told you that I did not feel compelled to marry you. But wanted to marry you of my own free will, Captain."

Levi was frozen in place, unblinking, waiting for any sign that this was a joke, a ruse. Thoughts occurred to Levi that Mikasa could never be that callous.

"Tell me now. The truth. Do you mean what you say?"

With her teacup still in hand, he watched as Mikasa seem to glide over to him, her hand slowly rising to his temple, her thumb gentle stroking the space under his tired eyes. His hands were on her waist before he could even think what to do next, the smash of the teacups hitting the floor barely registering. Their lips crashed against each other, hands moved in hurried motions and Levi's eyes were still closed but he could feel Mikasa tugging on his bracers, pulling him towards his bed as his boots crushed the fragments of the shattered teacups into the floor.


End file.
